*hmmm*

wah so long never post, super lazy alrdi la mel...:P k k where do i start....

Lets start with urmz jobs and interviews...been into alot of interviews...and alot of resumes, i have been offered a few jobs alrdi, taking my time to choose one that suits me and one that suits the prospective employer...i am going for two impt interviews on tues and wed so i still have other options....hmm i also have a hidden surprise that i wnt reveal unless i get it.... i knw i like tat post but its just too good to be true i dnt tink i wld make it..sighs but i will still try....

Soccer, i been playing more recently nowadays and i tink i have finally realised that i ahave not practised enuff, i played three days straight and each day i played i got better, the third day i was so happy with myself, i never was much of a goal scorer, more of a distributor and a destroyer of opponent attacks, i did my job well and there was even a time where we were five goals down and we came back to win 10-6....hahaha i am getting more confident in keeping my play and i managed to snag more goals than jeremy also...defender can score more than u, kill urself la Jer...

Confidence is somthing i am growing rapidly these few days, things i feared facing i walk towards it, things i had doubts over i go over and double make sure i do it, i am getting more things done, more confident in getting wat i want...i am nomore a brunette, hahhaa i am now smoky ash dude...hahaha sick of black hair in ns, i cut a new hairstyle plus a new colour, comments so far has been except my former colleague who went whoa dude wat the hell happened to you...

Determined to gt wat i want, i have learnt how much i have to sacrifice to get far, i have sacrificed sleep, endured alot of pain and i beleive that people who do not see me in this few months might be shocked at how different i have become emotionally physically and mentally.....

I noticed that each time i write about me being stronger i get broken almost immediately and maybe its a jinx but i embrace whateva that happens as a stepping stone to me being stronger...so even if tml i become weak i remember that today i was strong and that wateva tat doesnt kill me onli makes me stronger.....

K now about sunday....hahhaa alot to write...firstly met wif my darlin Ja after so long, sighs, missed her, the hug felt so good, missed u swthrt...secondly we went into town after so long, i havve been to all corners of Singapore recentli, even to plaes i never been before but i haven been into town for ages, so today was a eye opener, quite alot of changes eh? hmm aniwaes after that we went arnd far east and went to meridien to play pool, i also started back my habit of buying books from borders, used to not want to go there coz of something but i guess its time to get my life back to normal so i bought a Tess Gerritsen book, looked really interesting...the thing about books is i am scared to open em, cause i want to keep the thrill of a unopened book in me coz once i open i will read it and its over and i feel so sad each time my book ends...weird right, well tahts MeL....

Aniwaes the highlight of the day was the night, hahaha wnt say much but under my tutelage and new found guts by Jer i can officially announce that Jer is attached...hahaha we are all happy for u dude....i wanted to write alot on how it was done and all but i guess they wld prefer it being hush-hush so me shall shush-shush...

but while it was happy seeing him happy it hurt quite abit....it hurt watching them play pool, made me feel so lonely, Ja had her Chris, Jer has his Joanna, MeL has his broken heart...i always think pool is a great activity for a couple, so many things u can see about a couple when they pool, the way they look at each other as they hit a shot, the way the gal acts as she needs help so he puts his hand arnd her and teaches her, the bets of kisses and hugs on shots... and our table allowed us good view of the streets below and seeing couples hand in hand and in their sweet romance makes me feel so weird, seeing how much people can care about another makes me wonder where i went wrong....i cant write about the one i care about or shld i say used to care about coz i cant blog about her, dnt ask me ask her....so i guess all i can say is i tried my very best, and my life was officially screwed fucked, messed, by you...i have picked up the peices so maybe it will take some time before i stop hurting... Aniwaes watever has happened happened for a reason, thanks for the memories and to the future i see.... hmm one day maybe i'll get the one i want, maybe one day my heart wil stop yearning... till that day i guess i be a rambling idiot ya..

On a last note, i met alot of new people...i used to be like finding it weird to meet new people when you're heart is tinkin of sum1....i blocked alot of new people, didnt act as how i usually am and i guess i lost alot of potential frens but recentli i am meeting people like crazy, so many new frens, so many new sides of people...former hi bye frens now getting close.....thanks for the new friendships especially people like Kiaru, rathi, zara, and Devi(who is blessed with an angelic voice...omg she is so damn good i was like melting when i heard her sing, we have singin contests in seeing who can sing more but her voice is so good...sheesh i keep askin her to sing and she poor thing mus entertain me....and boy is she tall 173cm....I LIKE :>) hhahahaa i always liked tall chicks... :P heres to new frens and great memories...